This is one of my favorite parks in the county. In fact MKE city and county has the most park area for an urban area and some of the longest protected shore front public parks in the nation. If you golf, an entire system of public golf courses as well, the most in the nation. Most of this public access is do to the socialist governments in the City and county up until the early 1970’s.
I have pride in my city, yes it has problems, but having to face decades of bigotry and hatred from Republicans and right-wingers it has installed a sense of pride and willingness to fight back against their oppression and gaslighting of MKE and the area.
“Enter this wild wood and view the haunts of nature”Jack in the pullpit
Natives: compass plant, cup plant, meadow rueEast Front: old crab apple tree, front bed mesic forest understory gardenNorth side: mainly day lillies and ostrich fernsSouth side: its so dry so bearded irises, milk weed, day lillies, bedstrawEast Front: mesic understory garden cup plant, wild ginger, ostrich fern, swamp milkweedEast Front: mesic undestory garden iris’s, mayapple, spiderwort, Virginia WaterleafEast fence bed: echinacecha or purple cone flowerInside plants outside: monster monstera, snake plant, money tree (no money yet)South bed next to house: prickly pear cactus, my other three inside now outside cacti/succulents, and herbs.North pernnal bed: ruhbard North bed perennials: Horseradish & SorrelPerennial bed: 4 types of GarlicSide bed: it used to be all shade, the basswood that was there fell over due to a storm. So when it was there more mesic understory, but with a huge jack-in-the-pullpitSide bed: More iris’sGarage bed: compass plant, pink rose (biolante), Prairie Dock. Prairie plants without competition get huge.Heirloom TomatoesLettuce, cabbage, and greens
“Do I have real blood Moving through my veins, Moving through my veins, Moving through my veins? Pulsating through me, Pushing through my veins?“
3:54
I think those few seconds are some of the few intensity sensual feminine verses ever sang or sung. 🥵😘
Oh, the devil is in me oh, The devil is in me oh, The spirit is in me oh, The spirit is in me.
I don’t know what I should do now Show me what I should be doing
Am I wearing my right dress? Am I wearing the right shoes? Am I wearing my right face?
You just hate me for being born You just hate me for being me You just hate me for being born You just hate me for knowing you As I do
All I ever wanted Was to be the light in your eyes
Am I thinking the right thing? Am I in my right mind? Am I wearing my right head?
You just hate me for being born You just hate me for being me You just hate me for being born You just hate me for knowing you As I do
Do I have a real heart? Do I think with an open mind? Do I have real blood Moving through my veins, Moving through my veins, Moving through my veins? Pulsating through me, Pushing through my veins?
You just hate me for being born You just hate me for being me
Written by: Toni Halliday, Dean Garcia Album: Doppelgänger Released: 1992
Know this, a person that breaks the narrative is a threat to ideology.
Substack: Alien Relay 3.0/Eroheretic – May of 2025 to December 25th, 2025
First, I met a lot of great people on SS. Many i am still fond of, but when the “ss notes” became more like any other sm (in long form mind you), to me it became no better than bskye.
2025 was also one of the hardest years of my life in a personal and on an emotional level. What follows is intimately tied with my sexual assaults, and I can not finish my story without having it be part of this prompt. I probably cried out my body weight in 2025.
Some on SS found me being vocal and speaking out a threat to the narrative, but I was not trying to be a threat or equate male sexual assault of woman to female sexual assault on men. I was just coming out to tell my story, so other men, don’t have to suffer in silence, and maybe get a little help in a mental health & criminal system that ignores or excludes male sa victims based on biology & conditioned behaviors.
Because for a lot of men, it ends in suicide.
Since my background is in science i decided to do some research on sexual assault of males, commited by females.
All I found was two studies!
Woman have every right to demand more studies about female medical issues / I think men have this same right to demand studies on the taboo topic of sexual assault on them.
32% of men are Sexually assaulted by women every year, that’s about a little under 1/3 of the population of the US.
The rate of emotional abuse in male/female relationships is about even at ~43%.
Males are expected to respond affirmatively to all female sexual advances.
These two facts alone break the narrative we grew up with. I myself, a diehard lefty male for most of my life, till the middle of last year, was clueless and had no idea about these statistics. What I think about modern femenism? vs. What I considered feminism? – is another blog entirely, and I don’t want to get into it now.
The first man I met who told me he was sexually assaulted, I personally was disgusted by him. It was a reaction, that as a man i was conditioned to have. The reaction was fucking surreal, me a survivor of sa, disgusted by another male sa survivor. Eventually we started talking about how we felt after being assaulted and three reactions were similar:
1. We felt it was completely our fault.
2. Our sense of masculinity was destroyed and had to be rebuilt ground up.
3. We felt like we were the ones who were guilty, as if we were guilty of the assault.
4. No one cared and there were no options for help (this being the worst of them).
Earlier on SS probably June, I did come out about my assaults, most people and woman had so much grace, they empathized with me, gave me hope at a time when I was at my lowest. Still I didn’t think I was allowed to call myself a victim. Until I met a woman named Michelle, who said, I was a “survivor.”
This changed my life, only then I felt I was able, allowed, to TAKE the “victim” label (it’s not given to adult men who survive, we have to take it.) There was a lot of back and forth in my mind, sometimes it was the “all women” guilt game , other times i was a rage filled aggreived victim, and the most difficult, “There was no way I could identify as a male feminist anymore”, i had to kill that part of myself to move forward. It was a core part of my identity since at least 16, it was as if i ripped out a part of my soul. I felt betrayed by femenism, the left, and Democrats. I also realized that I had deep ingrained misandry in my mind, because in 2025 I learned i was considered a villian at birth.
“How could I be a villian, if i was victimized by a woman?”
This filled me with rage, a deep ingrained rage, that was tearing me apart. I got really dark, considered taking myself off the list, dark hopeless days they were. Then I wrote this: Mirror
One of the worst things ive ever written, but it had to be done or there was the alternative.
Yes, there’s a manosphere, but there’s also a femosphere too. From the MAGA right i was a pathetic simp that should be killed or i should kill myself, this is to be expected, not surprised, but it still didn’t sit right.
The worst however came from the left:
1. Told I was still privileged, and being assaulted was probably not as bad as I say.
2. It’s patriarchy’s fault & the assaulters internal misogyny made them do it.
3. Numerous times I was told I should be objectified more and be raped multiple times. That any woman empathizing with me, was wrong and I was manipulating them.
4. I was stalked, the last time at the end of November and into December on my notes and published works, again i was attacked for explaining the statistics and saying that “anyone who is assaulted, regardless of sex, should be treated equally.” Apparently for some; I was to be punished for the sins of other men.
At least the right is honest in their hatred that I should die, the left was all about punishment & revenge.
I was done, SS with notes became a lot like Blueskye, becoming full of horrible people (Also before SS got popular with writers it was a favorite platform for neo-nazi’s and white supremacists, racist, bigots, and trans-hating femenists.). I left Christmas day. Here is a link, a goodbye & reasons, my: SwanSong
I decided to come back to WP-JP. It’s Nice and slow, no doom scrolling for likes, little drama and most of the time everyone i meet is pretty cool.
Im mostly Isolated on my island. If my writing is read or not, I don’t care. If others like it, i appreciate you. If people don’t like it,i still appreciate you for taking a look.
“Man was born to love Though often he has sought Like Icarus, to fly too high. And far too lonely than he ought To kiss the sum of east and west And hold the world at his behest To hold the terrible power To whom only gods are blessed But me, I am just a man“
Sky is clear tonight Sky is clear tomorrow
A star is out I reach for one to sparkle in my hand A star is out I will not touch you, I am just a man
Sky is clear tonight Sky is clear tomorrow
And every night I shut my eyes So I don’t have to see the light Shining so bright I’ll dream about a cloudy sky, a cloudy sky
Sky is clear tonight Sky is clear tomorrow
A star is out I reach for one to sparkle in my hand A star is out I will not touch you, I am just a man
Man was born to love Though often he has sought Like Icarus, to fly too high. And far too lonely than he ought To kiss the sum of east and west And hold the world at his behest To hold the terrible power To whom only gods are blessed But me, I am just a man
And every night I shut my eyes So I don’t have to see the light Shining so bright I’ll dream about a cloudy sky, a cloudy sky
And every night I shut my eyes But now I’ve got them open wide You’ve fallen into my hands And now you’re burning me You’re burning me
And every night I shut my eyes So I don’t have to see the light Shining so bright I’ll dream about a cloudy sky, a cloudy sky
A cloudy night, a cloudy sky A cloudy night that’s what a say
I’ll dream about a cloudy sky, a cloudy sky…
Written by: Michael Allen Patton, Bill Gould, Michael Andrew Bordin Album: King for a Day, Fool for a Lifetime Released: 1995
“I’m easy like sunday morning That’s why I’m easy, so easy Yes I’m easy like sunday morning”
Know it sounds funny But I just can’t stand the pain Girl I’m leaving you tomorrow Seems to me girl You know I’ve done all I can You see I begged, stole And I borrowed, yeah
That’s why I’m easy I’m easy like sunday morning, yeah That’s why I’m easy, so easy I’m easy like sunday morning
Why in the world Would anyboddy wanna put chains on me? I’ve paid my dues to make it Everbody wants me to be What they want me to be I’m not happy when I try to fake it!
That’s why I’m easy I’m easy like sunday morning That’s why I’m easy, so easy That’s why I’m easy like sunday morning
I wanna be high, so high I wanna be free to know The things I do are right I wanna be free Just me, oh babe!
That’s why I’m easy
I’m easy like sunday morning That’s why I’m easy, so easy Yes I’m easy like sunday morning
That’s why I’m easy I’m easy like sunday morning (Easy like sunday morning, wooh, yeah) That’s why I’m easy (I’m so easy, so easy) I, I, I’m easy like sunday morning
When your energy has been sucked out of you, by those you know & interact with; disappearing by yourself in a sea of strangers and all you are is another body.
Although, my impulsive behavior has chosen a beautiful night.
7:00 pm: Just had some woman from Hawaii buy me a beer, said she moved away at 18, didn’t know what was good. That was nice of her.
This is a outline of a very vivid dream which had a long impact on my psyche, so long in fact it was months before I wrote it down and certain advents of this dream still have not fully faded away, with a few event’s i left out because they cause reaction from me whenever I delve to deep. It’s a little confusing, as i have been contemplating it for years:
A Tsunami Wave destroys a giant “arceotype/city” floating in the ocean populated with cloned humans from the mainland.
All the dead bodies together touching trapped in a purgatory. Specifically a French women and her family as the focus, but with americans, asains, etc….) They all have the same dream ,etc… and can not get out of it.
People who die and face death again are freed.
People who will not face death again will not accept it and keep on being trapped in the dream.
People whom figure out the situation are even more screwed because they will not accept anything as real, be it death or the dream. Although they soon are able to figure out differences between reality and non-reality situations. These people are helped by aliens/angels, etc… as guides to try to help them out of this living dead dream.
The French women’s husband (with his original soul) is brought back to a clone body (he was birthed human originally) to their house on the shore high atop a cliff. The husband who could not accept his death was alive as the clone (for real) this time, but the caveat of the living dream was still his fate.
His wife and children were still dead, other dead people’s souls not in clone bodies however can now come back and haunt the man who came alive again as wraiths and his living life is now part of a purgatory life, living dream, set in reality because of the clone body.
Is understanding your being’s placement in the architecture of the universe and interactions amoung systems a curse? Or you can escape death, but how high the price?
The opposition Carcinogenic sweat that hides The persecution These hidden walls keep us aligned Yeah, they keep us in line Fourteen hours more Covert tonight The operation A covert plan to get outside The consecration An archetype of a will that shines Shining alive Will you die or can we keep you alive?
When there is a machine gun on every corner You won’t see me
When your every move is monitored You won’t see me
When there is a federal eye in every household You won’t see me
And when it’s all too late You won’t see me
Ten A.M. · Snapcase End Transmission ℗ 2002 Craft Recordings., Distributed by Concord.
I walked green miles of jungle / I walked through yellow miles of pain I crossed starvation’s desert / Watched dead rivers swell with rain The song of insects filled the air / Nights in cites of despair Where killer’s sons said, son beware / And all the roads from here to there I sailed the sea of desolation / Dropped my anchor there Plumbed the depths of isolation / Walked its length and was not scared Went from end to end to end / And then from there I went again The road that only this one knows / Off to nowhere here I go Illumination comes so hard / Makes me see but leaves its scars At times I wish that I didn’t know what I know now Thought and thought until I lost my mind Looked and looked until I went near blind The path is fair but so unkind At night the highway’s diesel roar / Speaks to me and tells me more Than any book I’ve ever read / Or anything you ever said With silent eyes inside / I watch myself and worlds collide The seasons burn and crack my skin / I stay outside and live within
Illumination · Rollins Band Get Some Go Again ℗ 2000 SKG Music L.L.C….more
I had a medication change from a Zoloft generic to a new medication on November of 2024, which works much differently than the serotonin based zoloft. Changing not only made me susceptible to seasonal affective disorder, but I began to suffer from depression, with Trump winning, my overall mental health took a hit.
Blueskye: Ecoheretic – December 2024
I was not prepared for social media and how people are protected from face-to-face interactions. Because of my medication change i was not prepared emotionaly, I’ve always had little to no armor, and I am very sensative.
I went back on with the intention to network with others to resist. Well, it was a joke. The left is just a shadow of what it was. Different factions segregate themselves from eachother. Feminists vs. Labor, Progressives vs. Democrats, Identity politics vs. Moderate dems, etc… the entire left at war with itself. Walled into their areas of group think. The hatred i felt directed at me for being a white male, as if I had the choice of how I was born, was intense. The hatred I felt for coming out about my sa’s was intense. One poster literally said male assault victims didn’t matter, like it was like saying “all lives matter”. On the right i wasn’t even a man, but a pathetic simp that should be killed, well, left & right that feeling of not belonging to anyone or anything intensified.
This is the fact, I am one man, I am not “all men”, and I am sick of being guilted for the actions of other men and being assaulted does not make me less of a man. Men can have an inner misandrist, it’s real. Being granted victim status however, an adult male is not given it by soceity in fact no one wants to talk about it or deal with it, its taboo. Men have to take it if they want to heal. I had yet to take my victim status, and I needed permission to do it.
So, like any other human, I made myself small after that, cleared my history twice, started publishing some poetry, I couldn’t get it all on my posts, so I researched website platforms and WP was politicaly one of the best, as in it doesnt feed the tech bro’s.
Fate? The first person I connected with on blsky was a misandrist lesbian goethe goth. She needed help and I did help. I don’t think she needed all of it, but whatever happened it got me rediscovering myself & help crack my suppressed memories. She has my eternal thanks.
WP-JP: Echoheretic – March of 2025
At first it started out okay, I would publish on WP and then put the link on Blueskye. I did this till about April, and then left Blueskye, I was done with the instant judgement of my character, things said taken out of context, being blocked, stalked, harassed.
For most of April & May I enjoyed WP-JP. I learned that i liked writing erotica, found out i was good at it. Then another writer started to gaslight me. At first it was uplifting that she would react to my work, but that only lasted so long, everything changed when I came out about my sa’s. Ill just say her initials were DD, and her gaslighting towards me was based on ideology. So I decided to leave for Substack, I was sick of being mistreated.
Substack: Alien Relay 3.0/Eroheretic – May of 2025
Things got better, and then they got worse.
When i moved over to SS the notes part of it just started. In fact it was okay at first, but at the start of 2025 SS was getting a lot of press and getting more popular.
At this time I was emotionaly wrecked, my identity as a white male lefty with strong femenist ideals was on the way to being destroyed, questioning my own masculinity and worth, my confidence destroyed, the moral superiority of the left disgusted me after being on the receiving end. In fact there were times that I felt like it was my fault for my assaults, like I was the one who made them do it. I would literally cry everyday on my way to work, and the way home. It was the only place I could let it out without an audience. That rage i was suppressing, that I didn’t want to let out, but it wanted to be let out, was working its way out. And little at a time “all woman” would pass my mind.
Know this, a person that breaks the narrative is a threat.
This Mortal Burden Chapter 1 This is a long read. Just a quarter of this novel I wrote awhile ago. I cringe at some of it, because I was younger, with a great lack of wisdom. Although I think I caught detail of the action pretty well.
Each of us has different definitions, some think it’s at first site, other’s a contract, still other’s an ongoing test of actions, some complete domination & control, or on the flip side utter submission & surrender.
I think most of us experience, males and females, all of the above in different degrees. And…..At different times of our lives.
I do know, that it is a constantly evolving system, that romance, desire, and passion that pulls you together can be broken, decay slowly, rot in place or it can intensify, grow, bond, connection will become stronger, bonded.
Love and staying in love involves each person to evolve, to adapt; because just as much a person puts into themselves in their relationship with their own self/body, a relationship involves extactly that same type of work that needs to be put into it. As human’s as we age we all change, so does our feeling of what it means to be loved.
*You put in more work and that effort is reciprocal with your lover/partner, and they meet you, you know that you are loved.*
*You put in more work and the effort is not reciprocal, to meet you, then you understand that their love is not the same as yours. It doesnt mean they dont love you in other ways, just not as a lover.*
It means they do not love you in the same way you love them. Both of your views about what love is are different, that difference creates friction, communication breakdown, and the decay i mentioned.
Love is a responsibility, love is giving yourself your vulnerabilities & strengths to compliment the strengths & vulnerabilities of your partner, so you both become better versions, grow as a persons, be as a unit, not a singular self, you are greater than the sum, when aglined the power you both feel is a feeling/time you will never forsake.
I dont do writing prompts often. This is a long memoir, because my journey didn’t just start with me waking up and deciding to put my work online. It was evolution and adaptation that has led me here.
I think what’s more interesting is why i decided to end up using WP-JP as my chosen platform.
I literally have miles of written content & underground published essays, fiction, poetry, prose, illustration, water color painting,activism, political opinion editorials, zines, been in punk bands, music, miles of creation behined me over the long years. The majority in hardcopy, much of it now lost.
I’ve been writing in some capacity most of my life. I normally don’t write biographical peices, because as a fiction and prose writer my experiences are written in as code: I use them indirectly, I enjoy it, its fulfilling to world and character build, and the “act-of-writing” also acts as therapy.
I was Fully active writing until about 2002. After 2000 my focus went to education, I got a BS in Ecology, spending a few summers doing Marine Ecology based on islands both in the north Pacific and north Atlantic.
Me at a hotel drinkng retreat I set up in New Hampshire in the summer of 1999 when I spent 4 months doing Marine Ecology and working on Appledore Island off the coast of New Hampshire.
In Wisconsin i did lot’s of invasive species work, herbariums for the Mueseum, urban forestry surveys, worked in a vineyard, etc…but Ecology jobs were in short Supply and I needed insurance. So I became a Field Chemist cleaning up Hazardous Waste. I traveled the midwest, plains states, and the south for about 2ish years, untill i got a Biotech job. I liked the travel, but my mind was on not getting poisoned, melted by acids and bases, or blowing up.
2010-2011: Alien Relay 2.0 an online political blog in the wake of the Wisconsin Uprising after the Republicans killed public unions.
In 2012: My writers block and a loss-of-self began…………Summer of 2019: I had a trauma reaction from my relationship that expressed itself in a long hypersexual period & delibating anxiety & dissociation, this unhealthy awakening would lead to something even more traumatic. I Dabled in hook-up apps, reddit, kik, AFF, etc….was catfished, scammed, grifted on…I failed in spectacular fashion trying to hook-up…I learned these things were not for me. You needed to be hard, cynical, and couldn’t trust anything. Funny thing at this time, I thought non-binary meant people who didn’t use dating apps. 😅 That’s either really cute or appallingly ignorant, I like to think a little of both.
December 2019: Covid fears start worldwide as China is hit hard in Chengdu.
January 2020: At the biotech firm we got a majority of are synthetic DNA bases from Chengdu, we started masking and gloving up in the material handling/hazardous waste department I ran. I often worked by myself for weeks, while coworkers were out due to early social isolation recommendations.
April 2020: Covid hits New York; by then i fully surpressed my needs. The biotech firm i worked for created Nucleotides, which were needed for the first few rounds of the MRNA vaccines, where i worked was one of the few places that made it and mostly for research before Covid. My Zoloft generic dose was doubled by my psychiatrist, i also started to become a serotonin zombie, increasing my already strong dissociation and suppressing my sexual needs. We would get a year’s worth of material in 3 weeks! Needless to say from the start of 2020 till when I was downsized/fired in August of 2022 (the corporation execs needed more ponies for their children). I was busy nonstop from the second I walked into work to the second I left work. I was 120% exhausted. However I am proud of the work i did, I helped save untold numbers of people’s lives by working with purpose, regardless of recognition I wear my work in that period as a badge of honor.
November 2023: On a November in 2023 on a Thursday i was locked out of the house, then I was sexually assaulted twice by two different woman in one night. I suppressed that trauma deep within me, telling nobody until January of 2025. Until this day, my immediate family does not know.
November 2015: I left social media, Facebook, in 2015 after I learned how Zuckerberg/FB with Cambridge Analytica’s help, helped Trump win by data-mining and targeting people. Being politically active, that was enough for me to quite, I also felt SM as hallow. In December of 2024 after Trump won, my politically active-self stirred and I joined Blueskye to battle X. Fact: Many X’ers that either left SM earlier like I did or it was their first time became active on Blueskye.
Holy Fuck! I was, we were, not prepared at all for what Social Mediabecame!
“We live each day like there’s nothing to lose But a man has needs and the need is booze They say all the best things in life are free So give all your beer and your rum to me“
Heavy Metal Pirates! I Haven’t seen them live yet, but to me this is absurdity is at genius levels.
Piracy’s a crime and crime doesn’t pay And we go home poor at the end of the day But I’d rather live my life in rags Than be chained to a desk with a wife that’s a hag
We live each day like there’s nothing to lose But a man has needs and the need is booze They say all the best things in life are free So give all your beer and your rum to me
We are here to drink your beer And steal your rum at the point of a gun Your alcohol to us will fall ‘Cause we are here to drink your beer We are here to drink your beer And steal your rum at the point of a gun Your alcohol to us will fall ‘Cause we are here to drink your beer
We sailed Over the Seas for Wenches and Mead And told great tales of the Huntmaster’s deeds The Quest for a drop of That Famous Ol’ Spiced Has shown us the wrath of Leviathan’s bite We went Back Through Time to get more Rum Though we end up Shipwrecked having no fun But Heavy Metal Pirates we must be So give all your beer and your rum to me
We are here to drink your beer And steal your rum at the point of a gun Your alcohol to us will fall ‘Cause we are here to drink your beer We are here to drink your beer And steal your rum at the point of a gun Your alcohol to us will fall ‘Cause we are here to drink your beer
We are here to drink your beer And steal your rum at the point of a gun Your alcohol to us will fall ‘Cause we are here to drink your beer We are here to drink your beer And steal your rum at the point of a gun Your alcohol to us will fall ‘Cause we are here to drink your beer
“Shut your mouth look around This motherfucker is burning down And nothing’s gonna save us now“
I’m cynical by watching the majority of the left become politicaly apathetic, self-deafeating, ignorant, complacent, arrogant, aggreived victimhood, isolated to their towers of self-absorption after Biden was elected gives me little hope for the future.
As a politicaly active person on the left all my life, the betrayl doesn’t come from MAGA or Republicans, it comes from the left and Democrats, because it’s been castrating itself willingly over the last 20 years.
So this is what you want Choices are made and given up I just cant comprehend the need to sit when you can stand The game is rigged, the money spent
Shut your mouth look around This motherfucker is burning down And nothing’s gonna save us now Get out… and save yourself
There’s only so much I can say tried so hard to help you find your way But every step a wasted breath of false hope and promises There’s nothing to save, there’s nothing left
Nothing’s left of you today Save yourself or die away
So this is what you want Your choice was made, you’ve given up I’ll never comprehend the need to sit when you can stand There’s nothing left, the money spent
Writer(s): Nathan Gray, Joshua Latshaw, Robert Ehrenbrand, Charles W Istvan, Christopher Rakus album: “While A Nation Sleeps…” (2013) BoySetsFire – While A Nation Sleeps.
This was the theme song or the Anime “Serial Experiments Lain”. It has never left my head from the first time ive heard years and years ago.
The song reflects & anime (to me), the disjointed, etherial, and dark atmosphere, like there’s a thing just out of your reach, but can’t quite hold it or see it.
Once you seek it, however, it’s heavy, foreboding, and descends upon you without warning.
And you don’t seem to understand A shame, you seemed an honest man And all the fears you hold so dear Will turn to whisper in your ear
And you know what they say might hurt you And you know that it means so much And you don’t even feel a thing
I am falling I am fading I have lost it all
And you don’t seem the lying kind A shame that I can read your mind And all the things that I read there Candle lit smile that we both share
And you know I don’t mean to hurt you But you know that it means so much And you don’t even feel a thing
I am falling I am fading I am drowning Help me to breathe I am hurting I have lost it all I am losing Help me to breathe
I am falling I am failing I am drowning Help me to breathe I am hurting I have lost it all I am losing Help me to breathe
Ah-oh, yeah Ah-oh-oh, yeah
I am falling I am failing I am drowning Help me to breathe I am hurting I have lost it all I am losing Help me to breathe
Written by: Paul Richard Turrell, Ben Henderson, Jasmine Rodgers, Alexander Caird, Lee Sullivan, Stephen Paul Rodgers Album: Duvet (ScummV Remix) Released: 2022
The borderline The borderline The borderline The borderline
Red and roses Lips and breath Hair and dolls They’re look alike
Smoke and mist Night and midnight The deep and hell They really get me
Flip and fly Heal and feel Flower and poison Are on the brink
The borderline The borderline The borderline The borderline
Body and Jell-O Crack and jazz Arch and bridge They’re look alike
Meet me and hit me Tiny and sticky candy Kiss and eating Are just the same things
Free and fall And love and low Evil make you feel good Can’t help doing that
The borderline The borderline The borderline The borderline
The Borderline” is a song by character Sharon Apple and performed by Akino Arai. It is featured in the anime OVA series Macross Plus and its compilation movie.
“I’m quiet as I’m kept and more or less concussed for years But I can’t shake your body So I shake mine instead when it’s time to percuss”
This song exudes femenine desire and yearning, it has a great shoegazer ascetic to it and a smooth laid back danceable beat for non-dance music.
The special way The hunt began and ended with London on my mind The nights from days And letters penned in earnest with heartstrings sent unsigned
In a round about sway Not a word, not a sound All’s forgiven, anyway
Haven’t even slept, so I’m quiet as I’m kept and more or less concussed for years But I can’t shake your body So I shake mine instead when it’s time to percuss
In a round about sway Not a word, not a sound All’s forgiven, anyway
Names escaped run amok with bottle caps for eyes The nights from days ferried east and ended with no one getting wise (when was this?) On the Champs-Élysées on no rest, you fluoresce All’s forgiven for forgotten men and women, more or less
In a round about sway Not a word, not a sound All’s forgiven by the way Men and women, it’s time to percuss
Written by: Motohiro Yasue, Paula Kelley, Steve Zimmerman, Greg Ackell, Peter Koeplin Album: Hard Light Released: 2023
“Forgive the trembling love, I’m weak and acting bold And alone”
The rhythmic and melodic layering in this song is amazing. The atmosphere it radiates chills you.
In blur, farther Glanced over stirred Imagined you laughing Muddied feet dancing What is this aching prism? This prison wincing Receiving sudden swaths of dogma
Wandering over royal yonder Wandering over flooded ground again
(What does daylight look like?) What does daylight look like in this chaos of cold? (What does daylight look like?) Solitude and falling into respites now
In blur, hovered Accepted devotion Unearthed, bleeding ark of creation
Wandering over royal yonder Wandering over flooded ground again
(What does daylight look like?) What does daylight look like in this chaos of cold? (What does daylight look like?) Solitude and falling into respites now (What does daylight look like?) What does daylight look like in this chaos of cold? (What does daylight look like?) Solitude and falling into respites now
Forgive the trembling love, I’m weak and acting bold And alone
Written by: Christopher Johnson, Kerry Dylan Mccoy, George Lesage Clarke, Daniel Tracy, Shiv Mehra. Album: Infinite Granite. Released: 2021
I have no white whale to consume my soul, I am that white whale. Born a beast a monster: failures, oppression, hurt, murder, rape, death, genocide, femicide, and even your internal misery. I am your enemy i am your monster. qualities you possess, your biological virtuous signaling superiority; a kingdom built of rage safe space […]
Energy Given freely Is as breathing For me Understanding Until now, ive had so much of it But, frankly I Am Utterly Exhausted I Speak Truth I Endless hope I Set Boundries I Don’t give up ……Why do I feel guilty?
Truth I am prey Human predators smell empathy As Sharks smell blood in the water Allowing myself to be used without equal reciprocity Used Endless cycle(s) of neglect Affection to weapon Sex to Weapon Shrunk as weapon Tool of endless emotional grounding Control Power Stability Comfort
I Am Tired …….So very very tired And I’m afraid I Have Changed I Am Broken Victim Survivor Pariah
I’m coming to find you if it takes me all night A witch hunt for another girl For always and ever is always for you
Say goodbye on a night like this If it’s the last thing we ever do You never looked as lost as this Sometimes it doesn’t even look like you It goes dark It goes darker still Please stay But I watch you like I’m made of stone As you walk away
I’m coming to find you if it takes me all night A witch hunt for another girl For always and ever is always for you Your trust The most gorgeously stupid thing I ever cut in the world
Say hello on a day like today Say it everytime you move The way that you look at me now Makes me wish I was you It goes deep It goes deeper still This touch And the smile and the shake of your head
I’m coming to find you if it takes me all night Can’t stand here like this anymore For always and ever is always for you I want it to be perfect Like before I want to change it all
A life devoid of touch, love, passion, a pillar of rough-hewn granite, to make other’s lives more comfortable so they don’t have to feel guilt. A mirrored avatar to reflect what they want to see; taking responsibility for the cowardly acts of their Phantoms. Selfish Ideological Narcissists, making victims that exist in the interstitial spaces, Acceptable losses in the war. A living taboo, stigmatized, no one wants to touch this flesh, it is taboo made real. Aged masculinty shattered into dull edges, ego ripped out, longtime ideological identity destroyed; the devouring mother’s hunger satiated.
I no longer want to try to identify with anyone, as anyone, or with any group. All are phantoms. The gulf is now infinite. Not your spaces in-between, because nothing exists on either side. Playing my part in the background, while the Phantoms roleplay; it’s the curse of total detached awareness & empathy. Pain hidden in the shadows, invisible to all.
Pariah is my rightful place, I am the sacrificial king: I will let this demon eat my soul.
……and I will REVEL in the consumption
One with the Pariah that haunts the interstitial spaces
the Pariah that whispers to the phantoms in your nightmares
For some reason they remind me of early “The Cure”, in their prepop era. I like this band they are atmospheric, darker shoe gaze feel. One of the Members is in the band “Alecast”, of whom I like as well
I’ve been reluctant to share this one. The vulnerable parts of me in this water color are still part of me now.
Some people re-invent themselves, that is a skill I don’t possess. I carry everything because it’s me and good or bad I own it, and owing it is important. If you don’t own your choices, you make villians of others as an excuse for your actions. There is far to much of that in our world.
I made these joke’s myself and i have this thing with wasting my brain cells thinking of stupid things. They are all terrible & I want to apologize in advance. I also have a real job, so don’t worry im not homeless or starving.
1. What do you call a prostitute that walks backwards?
2. What is the best state to by a Sconce in?
3. What is the name of a rave that only dwarfs can go to?
I’ve gotten a little more sleep this week, but somehow, I am tireder. New Posts Books I finally finished I Hear You Watching by Zachary Dillon. This was a crazy ride from start to finish, based on the author’s own experiences hearing voices. Vulnerable, honest, funny, and scary sometimes. Zac is a great writer, and […]
“We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery, we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness.”
I’m sorry, but I don’t want to be an emperor. That’s not my business. I don’t want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone if possible; Jew, Gentile, black man, white, we all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each other’s happiness, not by each other’s misery. We don’t want to hate and despise one another. In this world there’s room for everyone and the good Earth is rich and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be free and beautiful, but we have lost the way. Greed has poisoned men’s souls, has barricaded the world with hate, has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed.
We have developed speed, but we have shut ourselves in. Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge has made us cynical. Our cleverness hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery, we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost. The aeroplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in men, cries out for universal brotherhood for the unity of a soul.
Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world. Millions of despairing, men, women, and little children, victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people. To those are going to hear me, I say do not despair. The misery that is now upon us, but the passing of greed, the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress, the hate of men will pass and dictators die. And the power they took from the people will return to the people. And so long as men die, liberty will never perish.
Soldiers, don’t give you a sales to brutes. Men who despise you, enslave you, who regiment your lives, tell you what to do, what to think and what to feel. Who drill you, diet you, treat you like cattle, use you as cannon fodder. Don’t give yourself to these unnatural men, machine men with machine minds and machine hearts. You are not machines. You are not cattle. You are men. You have the love of humanity in your hearts. You don’t hate. Only the unloved hate, the unloved and the unnatural.
Soldiers, don’t fight for slavery. Fight for liberty. In the 17th chapter of St. Luke it is written, “The kingdom of God is within man, not one man, nor a group of men, but in all man in you. You, the people, have the power, the power to create machines, the power to create happiness. You, the people have the power to make this life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure.
Then, in the name of democracy, let us use that power, let us all unite. Let us fight for a new world, a decent world that will give men a chance to work, that will give youth a future and old age of security. By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power, but they lie. They do not fulfill that promise. They never will. Dictators free themselves, but they enslave the people.
Now want to just fight to fulfill that promise. Let us fight to free the world to do away with national barriers, to do away with greed, with hate and intolerance. Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to all men’s happiness. Soldiers, in the name of democracy, let us all unite.
Emotional armor is not a concept ive ever contemplated or a tool that I ever developed. Just words that others used to tell others, as if the words alone will protect you. I never really had much of it to begin with I’ve always been ultra-sensative growing up. I was easily bullied by boys, […]
Except for the most important space, which has been void for ages. The void is immense, and I doubt now it will ever be filled again.
Things, nicknaks, books in towers, shoes upon shoes, pans atop pans, prints upon prints. So many “things”. Things purchased not out of need, but to fill someone elses void. Things saved and forgotten in boxes, to collect dust for nostalgia? Need?
No amount of organizing, cleaning, no matter how much you do ever matters, nor works. The teetring mountain of things will overwhelm you, it will tip over on you and you will become lost in the clutter.
When you realize that you are part of the clutter, just another thing with no space left for self. So you forget who you are, and give up more space until you are part of the background, part of the clutter in someone elses life.
Then you become the house, to hold the clutter. The Foundation, encompassing all, keeping things safe, keeping the peace, like Atlas all of the weight is on your shoulders.
Then you disappear, until you speak up, only to be given a performance to pull you back, to get you to go silent, to forget again, to meld back into the clutter. To get you to be a creek in the wood of the foundation on a freezing day.
Woe, my story is the story of millions of others, both men and women, i know im not alone in this tale. Just another fool/tool; be it fear of being alone, or keeping your honor and word out of pride, or not giving up in the face of overwhelming defeat. Where is the logic in any of that when you finally realize you are a thing? Knowing that you are a provider, a foundation, the protection, but not valued or recognized for any of it, or shown real affection or love. You are just a thing to be used for the comfort of others.
This my dear, is what fools do. Maybe im the king of fools. To know the truth, walking that fine line between speaking truth to power, but at the same time knowing you’re the punchline of the biggest self-owning joke of all time.
Actually, on second thought, Mike Ness can keep his crown. I have no need to be the king of anything.
Ecoheretic 